brendan halpin

Went to the Castle Island brewery in Norwood, MA last night for a Chaotic Wrestling show. It did not disappoint!

One match featured the Hispanic Mechanics, Jos A and Jos B, vs. two members of The Unit, Trigga the OG and…um, the other guy. The Hispanic Mechanics delivered the dance moves, the charisma, and the victory. I’ve seen Trigga the OG at every event I’ve been to, and he works really hard and is a great heel, and I’d like to see him get more attention.

God’s Greatest Creation was another tag team that won. The gimmick seems to be that they’re militant Christians who are also gay? (one of their opponents, I’m sorry I don’t remember the name because they were also really great, was sporting a Pride flag armband. I will say again that Chaotic does a great job of being an inclusive promotion that manages to put larger-than-life characters together without relying on lazy, hateful stereotypes.) Anyway, great match.

Paris Van Dale defended her championship in typical style—by complaining that she wasn’t getting sufficient respect, attempting to walk out of the match, and ultimately winning due to an illegal eye poke. Great stuff—I think she’s the best heel in the promotion.

Brad Cashew defeated hockey-themed newcomer Stan Copley in a “hockey rules” match. Copley did use the hockey stick against Cashew, but of course good prevailed. I would like to say that Cashew’s preening confidence only needs to be kicked up one notch to preening arrogance to make him a heel. Praying for a heel turn, but, as you can probably tell, I mostly like the heels.

High-flying Shannon Levangie defeated Che Long in a very entertaining match. I feel like Shannon has really grown into her persona and is now my favorite face. Also fun to see Che Long, who did his first match with Chaotic in May, find a great heel character and really embrace the dark side. Also he complained of an injury that left his back “construed” and that his opponent from the previous night had ruined his spray tan.

In an “international match,” a new guy representing Puerto Rico (lost the name—sorry!) took on The Israeli Action figure, who proved a very sore loser! Fortunately Flip Gordon came out to stop the post-match beatdown!

The main event featured Flip Gordon vs. sneering heel Ricky Smokes. Here’s how good Smokes is—when he did his entrance schtick, he walked around the outside of the ring and passed three ten-year-olds who were wearing his merch, looked at their outstretched hand, and said, “Like I would even think of high-fiving you!” Great stuff. Gordon, a charismatic face with absolute tree trunks for legs prevailed with an assist from Shannon Levangie, who stopped Ricky Smokes from kicking Flip into unconsciousness outside the ring.

If that sounds like a lot of entertainment, it was! And if you catch Chaotic at one of their bigger venues, like the Sons of Italy in Watertown, you’ll get another full hour of wrestling goodness.

Non-corporate wrestling is punk as fuck and an amazing entertainment bargain besides. Support your local indie promotion!