brendan halpin

Here in the fascist USA, things are about to get a lot more expensive because our billionaire overlords are crashing the economy on purpose so they can buy up everything at bargain prices! You know, like the billionaires did in Russia!

Here in New England, our utility prices are set to skyrocket due to the fact that we get most of our energy from Canada. I’m sure there is similar bullshit on the way just about everywhere.

So everybody who’s not a billionaire is about to get a lot broker. And the tendency when you’re broke is to eat shitty food because it’s cheap. You can’t beat the price of instant noodles, but if you’re broke and working a lot you can’t stay fueled up on instant noodles. If you’re going to have any energy at all to resist fascism, you need to eat real food.

Here are some concrete tips to help you eat real food while being broke.

The first thing I’m going to recommend, and I know this seems incompatible with being broke, but hear me out, is a decent rice cooker. I have the Yum Asia Panda, which currently sells for about a hundred bucks. Which seems like a lot, but it’s going to be key to making low-effort, high nutrition meals. You can, of course, make rice on the stovetop, but you cannot beat the “set it and forget it” convenience of a rice cooker. Literally dump some rice and water in the cooker, press a button, and go play video games for a half hour while it cooks your rice to perfection. Remember we’re trying to conserve our energy too.

(you can get rice cookers for 20 or 30 dollars cheaper than the Yum Asia Panda. I like this one because it has a ceramic lined pot, while apparently every other brand has nonstick teflon which I have some concerns about. Important note: maybe someone gave you an instant pot once and you think you can use that as a rice cooker instead. DON’T DO IT. IT SUCKS AT THIS TASK.)

Okay, now that we’ve got a rice cooker, it’s time for a few staples. I recommend the following spices: cumin, coriander, turmeric, smoked paprika (if you enjoy a smoky flavor), and cayenne pepper. (if you like a little heat in your food, this is vastly cheaper than hot sauce.) Also get some thyme and an Italian seasoning blend featuring oregano and basil. I get my spices from Penzey’s, which is the target of a right wing boycott, so you can feel good about getting good spices from them. But look in the international sections of your supermarket or at Indian or Spanish-speaking groceries. You can often get big containers of these spices for about the same price as small ones in white people supermarkets.

For rice—get the biggest amount you have sufficient airtight storage for. If you try to use the bag instead of a container with a lid and a gasket, you’re going to get pantry moths, mice, or other vermin devouring your rice. If you have an Asian grocery nearby, the rice prices are usually better. (You want to be paying under 2 bucks per pound if possible. You can order a 15-pound bag from this place if you can’t find cheap rice near you.) But again, don’t buy a lot of rice if you can’t store a lot of rice. You’ll just wind up throwing a bunch away.

Next, beans. Dried lentils: red, black, and brown—are all delicious and good for different things, cook quickly, and last more or less forever. For other beans, I’m going to recommend cans. Have you ever tried cooking chickpeas from dried? I do not recommend. Even if you have a pressure cooker. It takes forever and your chick peas will simply never come out as plump and tender as canned ones.

Also cans of diced tomatoes. You can usually find pretty good deals on this in your Stop & Shop, Kroger, Publix, Piggly Wiggly, or whatever.

Goya is a company run by an asshole (but, I mean, really, what company isn’t?), but their canned beans are way better than anyone else’s. Remember, you don’t want to feel like you’re suffering here. Get the good stuff. Black beans and chick peas, certainly, but also any other kind of bean that strikes your fancy. These go on sale pretty regularly at my Stop & Shop, so keep your eye peeled for the sales and then go nuts.

Fresh vegetables are expensive. Frozen spinach doesn’t taste like much, but it adds some color and nutritional value to a lot of things. If you live in Greater Boston, it’s worth a trip to Haymarket for cheap vegetables. (Cash only, and be prepared to assert yourself at the stalls. But you can get amazing deals.)

Congratulations—you now have the building blocks for a whole bunch of delicious meals! You can make a dal with the red lentils. Cook the brown lentils with some thyme. Throw some canned tomatoes, white beans, and Italian seasoning together for a little riso i fagioli! Black beans and tomatoes with some cumin, smoked paprika, and cayenne for a nice Mexican-esque dish! You can literally feed yourself every night for pennies per serving with this stuff, and if you’re using canned beans, you can put a lot of these meals together in about five minutes—dump the rice in the cooker, then dump the beans and spices and tomatoes in the pot and heat em up!

You might be broke, but you don’t have to starve yourself, eat shitty processed food, or deprive yourself of the pleasure of eating food that tastes like something.