brendan halpin

A rehearsal studio somewhere in England. 1978.

Enter Roger Waters.

RW: Right, lads, remember when I spit on that bloke at one of our shows?

David Gilmour: Bang out of order, that was.

RW: I know! So it’s got me thinking about the barrier between performer and audience! And I’ve figured out what to do!

Nick Mason: Leave our stately homes and go down the pub, listen to the punters, get in touch with the common man?

DG: Play some shows in some small venues? Stripped down, initmate?

RW: SILENCE! I have a vision! Double concept album! Enormous stage show! Custom animations projected on screens! Gigantic puppets!

NM: And this is supposed to bring us closer to the audience?

DG: (nudges Nick) Shhh. You know you can’t interrupt him when he’s like this.

RW: I shall call it: The Wall!

NM: (quietly, to Gilmour) The Bin, more like.

DG: Shh! I told you, we only have to put up with him for 2 more albums.

NM: He says this one’s a double. Does that count as two?

DG: No.

NM: Bloody hell.

A rehearsal studio in Laurel Canyon. 1978

Lindsey Buckingham: Okay, guys, so I’ve been thinking about how we follow up the biggest album of all time. So I’ve been listening to what the kids are into, and I’ve gotten inspired!

Stevie Nicks: I thought I was your inspiration.

LB: I mean, we can only break up so many times…

SN: (Angrily lights incense, twirls, chants in a pre-modern Celtic tongue)

LB: So, anyway, my inspiration for the new project? Punk Rock.

Mick Fleetwood. (Stubs out a joint, pulls a Scarface-sized tray of coke in front of him) So. Playing fast, is that it?

LB: No, it’s not the sound of punk I’m interested in. It’s the energy, the immediacy! I was thinking we could—

Christine McVie: Record live in the studio?

LB: NO! We will each lay down our respective tracks over and over again until it sounds perfect!

John McVie: I’m in this band, you know. Have been from the beginning.

MF: Course you have, John. There’s a good lad.

CM: So what, we’re going to play some clubs, work out songs in front of an audience instead of disappearing up our aresholes in the studio for—

LB: SILENCE! We will do everything as we always have! Our production will be so perfect we’ll make Steely Dan weep with envy!

CM: So what’s the—

LB: Marching band! What says punk rock louder than a marching band?

CM: I…just about anything, I suppose.

SN: (stops twirling) I’ve got a song about having sex with a sixteen year old boy.

(Silence)

MF: Right, we’re doing Lindsey’s thing.