brendan halpin

I missed this when it came out, probably due to having a small child at the time. But I saw that it was Stuart Gordon adapting Lovecraft and thought it might have some of the wonderful over the top gonzo comic energy of Re-Animator or From Beyond. It didn’t, but it was still pretty good!

It’s essentially an adaptation of The Shadow over Innsmouth, inexplicably moved to Spain, where the town in question is called Inboca. Get it? The effects are mostly practical, which is good because the few bits of low-budget 2001 CGI are…really horrible!

But what’s really captured well here is the horror of the whole town being comprised of people slowly transforming into horrors from the deep. This could be done very comically (as it was by me in my Scooby-Doo fanfic The Velmanomicon!), but Gordon manages to make it genuinely disturbing and completely devoid of The Incredible Mister Limpet references, a feat I was incapable of!

There’s some gratuitous nudity, and the big reveal and the ending didn’t quite work for me, but overall a nice, creepy diversion!

Man, this one had potential. Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer. Nasim Pedrad and Alison Pill are teachers in a school where the kids are infected by a virus spread by tainted chicken nuggets and become flesh-eating zombies!

It starts out pretty strong with a fresh (to me—this movie is 9 years old) twist on the zombie trope, and there are some funny bits, and the winning cast kept me engaged, but in the second half, they kind of abandoned the idea of doing anything new and just made it a run-of-the-mill zombie movie. They even did that annoying break the fourth wall thing where they announced that they knew they were conforming to action movie tropes. Why?

Like so many horror comedies, this doesn’t really work as either horror or comedy. Still, it was entertaining enough to keep me watching. But if you’re in the mood for a horror comedy, I’d recommend Let the Wrong One In or Grabbers or One Cut of the Dead.

If the title has you singing the song already, you can skip ahead. For everybody else, this is a kids’ song where you kind of almost swear a few times, so, you know, it’s delightfully naughty when you’re like 8. It goes like this:

Miss Lucy had a steamboat

The steamboat had a bell

Miss Lucy went to heaven

The steamboat went to

Hello operator…

There’s more, but you get the idea.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the theology of this song. So, like, for one, the song posits that steamboats have souls. Is this true of all inanimate objects? Or just boats? Is this like a Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel situation? In other words, are all steamboats imbued with souls, or is it just this one?

This will remain a mystery, but I do believe I’ve solved the second theological conundrum inherent in this little ditty. If Miss Lucy goes to heaven, why does the steamboat, which, presumably, only acts on Miss Lucy’s commands, go to hell? What could the steamboat possibly have done?

I pondered this for a while and then realized I was simply not looking at the song through a Calvinist framework. Calvinism posits the existence of “the elect,” people who are predestined to go to heaven while the rest of us are predestined to go to hell. Cheery theology!

But also a handy theology if you believe you’re part of the elect, because then you can do literally anything you want on earth and be assured of your place in heaven! This is the basis of James Hogg’s The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner, a 19th-century novel about a guy who realizes that, as a member of the elect, he can totally be a serial killer!

But back to Miss Lucy. Why does she go to heaven while the steamboat goes to hell? Well, because she is one of the elect, obviously! She was born destined for heaven, while the poor steamboat was damned from the get go!

You can probably tell how well Calvinism fits in to capitalism and how it influenced prosperity gospel: if you’ve got a lot (say, for example, you own a steamboat), it’s because you’re chosen by God! If you don’t, well, too bad for you that God didn’t pick you. The elect have no moral obligation to help you—they’re going to heaven anyway, and you’re probably suffering because you’re bad!

So there you have it folks—harmless childhood ditty or Calvinist/capitalist indoctrination? You decide!

Trenchant analyses like these brought to you by my liberal arts education! Tune in next time when we’ll examine the problematic “Slidin’ into third” verse of the diarrhea song!

I’m a huge fan of Matt Berry and loved the chronicles of egotistical, always on the cusp of both failure and success actor Steven Toast in Toast of London.

Toast of Tinseltown, though…you know when you get the new album by a band you like, and, like, some of the old magic is there, but it just doesn’t hit the same way? Yeah, it’s like that.

While Toast of London was always over the top, Toast of Tinseltown goes all the way to surreal, and the results are mixed. I’m tempted to blame the whole thing on the casting of Fred Armisen, that pioneer of the Comedy Without Laughs genre, who here, once again, delivers a performance that I understand to be comic but that inspires no laughter. (Perhaps this is because he’s actually a little too good at playing a prickly, unpredictable guy with a dark secret?). Rashida Jones is charming as usual, but I still haven’t forgiven her for pulling out of the film adaptation of one of my novels and thus denying me a sweet payday. She’s also not particularly funny in this.

To return to my album analogy, think of this as Billy Bragg’s Don’t Try This at Home, or X’s Ain’t Love Grand, or whatever version of that album a band you really like put out. There’s still some good stuff here, and if you liked the other stuff, you’ll still find stuff to like here, but you’re not going to reach for it first and you definitely wouldn’t recommend it as a starting place.

I’ve been feeling frustrated that leadership at every level of government isn’t responding to the obvious climate emergency with any increased sense of urgency.

Multi-year plans and modest emissions reductions are insufficient. We need emergency action to combat the climate emergency.

Now, there are a lot of things we can and should do that will require time to put together. Center lane busways on every 4+ lane street in Boston, for example, while far less expensive than new rail lines, will still take time to put into place.

But there are two things that Massachusetts can do right now in order to help respond to the climate emergency. The first is to free the MBTA. Bus, subway, ferry, commuter rail—make the whole thing free. Denver saw ridership increase 22% when it made public transportation free for a month in 2022. Making the T (and, for that matter, every other form of public transportation in MA) free will ease traffic and reduce carbon emissions and make the entire Greater Boston area more liveable.

“But how are you gonna pay for it?” Same way we paid for throwing millions of dollars at GE to not build a headquarters in the Seaport, I guess. But also, eliminating fares will save tons of money on fare collection. No more machines, no more server farms running the fare system, and far less stress on bus drivers, so less turnover. (Also, going fare-free helps improve bus efficiency, since all doors can open at every stop. This saves on fuel costs.)

The second instant emergency climate change-fighting measure is such a no-brainer I can’t believe nobody’s even proposed it yet: close Hanscom Field.

Hanscom Field is an airport in Bedford, Massachusetts, that is the primary airport for private jets in Massachusetts. In fact, it’s almost exclusively dedicated to private aviation.

Even in the best of times, the idea that Massachusetts taxpayers should fund a landing strip for the 1%’s private jets is pretty onerous, but during a climate emergency, it’s inexcusable. No one needs to travel by private jet.

I believe private aviation should be banned altogether, but that’s something that needs to happen at the federal level. The least Massachusetts can do is shut down the airfield that makes this an attractive place to fly private jets in and out of.

Maybe there are better ideas. If so, I’d love to hear them. More than that, though, I’d love to have someone acknowledge that the situation we’re in is an emergency.

#Massachusetts #ClimateChange #MBTA #Transportation

Went to the Castle Island brewery in Norwood, MA last night for a Chaotic Wrestling show. It did not disappoint!

One match featured the Hispanic Mechanics, Jos A and Jos B, vs. two members of The Unit, Trigga the OG and…um, the other guy. The Hispanic Mechanics delivered the dance moves, the charisma, and the victory. I’ve seen Trigga the OG at every event I’ve been to, and he works really hard and is a great heel, and I’d like to see him get more attention.

God’s Greatest Creation was another tag team that won. The gimmick seems to be that they’re militant Christians who are also gay? (one of their opponents, I’m sorry I don’t remember the name because they were also really great, was sporting a Pride flag armband. I will say again that Chaotic does a great job of being an inclusive promotion that manages to put larger-than-life characters together without relying on lazy, hateful stereotypes.) Anyway, great match.

Paris Van Dale defended her championship in typical style—by complaining that she wasn’t getting sufficient respect, attempting to walk out of the match, and ultimately winning due to an illegal eye poke. Great stuff—I think she’s the best heel in the promotion.

Brad Cashew defeated hockey-themed newcomer Stan Copley in a “hockey rules” match. Copley did use the hockey stick against Cashew, but of course good prevailed. I would like to say that Cashew’s preening confidence only needs to be kicked up one notch to preening arrogance to make him a heel. Praying for a heel turn, but, as you can probably tell, I mostly like the heels.

High-flying Shannon Levangie defeated Che Long in a very entertaining match. I feel like Shannon has really grown into her persona and is now my favorite face. Also fun to see Che Long, who did his first match with Chaotic in May, find a great heel character and really embrace the dark side. Also he complained of an injury that left his back “construed” and that his opponent from the previous night had ruined his spray tan.

In an “international match,” a new guy representing Puerto Rico (lost the name—sorry!) took on The Israeli Action figure, who proved a very sore loser! Fortunately Flip Gordon came out to stop the post-match beatdown!

The main event featured Flip Gordon vs. sneering heel Ricky Smokes. Here’s how good Smokes is—when he did his entrance schtick, he walked around the outside of the ring and passed three ten-year-olds who were wearing his merch, looked at their outstretched hand, and said, “Like I would even think of high-fiving you!” Great stuff. Gordon, a charismatic face with absolute tree trunks for legs prevailed with an assist from Shannon Levangie, who stopped Ricky Smokes from kicking Flip into unconsciousness outside the ring.

If that sounds like a lot of entertainment, it was! And if you catch Chaotic at one of their bigger venues, like the Sons of Italy in Watertown, you’ll get another full hour of wrestling goodness.

Non-corporate wrestling is punk as fuck and an amazing entertainment bargain besides. Support your local indie promotion!

Who doesn’t love some gothic goodness? Spooky old houses! Repressed sexuality! Dread!

I recently watched The Haunted Palace with Vincent Price. It’s about how Vincent Price inherits a gigantic castle in Massachusetts(!) and gets possessed by the evil spirit of his ancestor who originally owned the joint!

It’s a fun time, if not as colorful as Masque of the Red Death. Kind of like a Hammer movie with less cleavage. For a fun bonus, it features a couple of guys who were on every TV show in the 1970s! (If you watch the movie, you’ll know them immediately, and look them up on IMDB trying to figure out where you know them from, then realize it could be literally any network TV program from 1970-80!). There’s a pretty big plot hole, but the end is great and it delivers the spooky atmosphere. Disappointing that Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth are mentioned but never make an appearance in the film. Whaddya got against elder gods, Roger Corman?

The Last One Left is a gothic novel by Riley Sager about a home health aide who comes to care for an old woman who may or may not have killed her parents and sister years earlier. It’s a pretty engaging read, but…well, there are many pleasures to be had from reading, and, in the mystery genre, I realize that what I really like is spending time with a cool protagonist while they try to unravel the mystery. I’m less interested in the solution.

Well, this book is all about the solution. The protagonist isn’t much of a character—just kind of an information-gathering machine. The solution is unexpected and brilliantly constructed, but…there are like five big plot twists in the last quarter of the book. After the first one, I was like, “Oh, cool!” by the fifth one I was like, “Really? Another one?” Ultimately the whole rest of the book is setting up the cleverness of the last quarter. If you like a clever solution and multiple plot twists, this is a good pick for you. If you’re like me…well, it’s still a very entertaining book. But be forewarned you may be rolling your eyes at the end.

#Review #movies #books #gothic #mystery

Back in February, I wrote about how several Boston charter schools were facing a crisis of declining enrollment. It seems the crisis hasn’t abated.

If you don’t want to click through to the old article, here’s why declining enrollments matter: in Massachusetts, the money follows the student. So every open seat in a charter school represents lost revenue for the school. Lost revenue leads to budget cuts, budget cuts lead to worse schools which lead to more open seats. This is the death spiral that charter schools were intended to inflict on real public schools. But now it seems to be happening to them.

As of August 17th, six months after the charter school lottery was held, eight of Boston’s sixteen charter schools still have open seats. Find the whole list here. (Don’t worry! I’ve got screenshots if they take it down!)

This matters, of course, because it shows that the charter school narrative that people are lining up to get in and we should really expand the number of charter schools is false. If you live in Boston, you’ve probably seen the ads urging people to enroll in charter schools. If a school is in high demand, it doesn’t need to advertise. (Also, I don’t believe even nominally public charter schools should use public money to advertise, but I’m old fashioned like that.)

But I started to get curious about why charter enrollment is falling. My theory is that the charters that started in 1995 have been around long enough that they’ve got substantial numbers of alumni who are parents…and choosing not to send their kids to charter schools because of what they experienced there.

So I decided to reach out to a bunch of charter school alumni to see if my theory was correct. This was in no way a scientific survey, and most people are busy and not as obsessed with education as I am. Two folks wrote back to me to say they had good experiences at the charter school where I was their teacher. This didn’t surprise me. The charter where I worked served a small subset of students very well. I think that’s true of most of them.

But then I also got this, from City on a Hill alum Tonya. I’m using her name and story with her permission. I’ve edited her response for length.

To be 💯 with you but when I was a sophomore at COAH, I was treated like shit. The only one that supported me and didn’t look down on me was Ms. Jamison.She told me that I would succeed even being a teen mom. I had teachers and administration tell me I wouldn’t be anything and I would end up working at McDonald’s and I should leave COAH and get my GED. I was misrepresenting the COAH mission statement and was told I needed to leave and go to a secondary maternity school for pregnant teens. I wasn’t even given the proper education there or all of my school requirements from City on a Hill which led to me getting kept back. I was supposed to graduate in 2004 but I transferred out my senior year. It SUCKED ASS for me and I felt like a failure. 1 because I was pregnant and

2 Because I felt like I was purposely kept back. I got straight A’s in my secondary school COAH transferred me to and told me I would be able to graduate with my class. But when it came down to it out of nowhere I didn’t have enough credits. So I happily left COAH permanently. I wasn’t going to be a statistic like admin was saying to me. Mr. Hays wasn’t telling me I wouldn’t be worth anything but he supported his peers and I looked up to these individuals. I PRIDED myself in being a charter school kid because it wasn’t BPS and I knew the requirements and high expectations. I love a challenge and love to prove people wrong when I’m being looked down on. I had a blast friends wise at COAH. I have amazing memories with my peers. But the way I was treated like a piece of trash and then shunned like a stain on their reputation was degrading. I was putting pressure on myself because I knew the obstacles I’d have being a teen mom but they didn’t make it terrible for me like I was a mistake.

Charter school in that phrase to me sounds like “elite”, or “thorough bread”, “smarter than” “better than”, and as much as the mission statement sounds cool and jazzy, it’s bullshit. It’s like a corporate office job that says all these amazing things to get bodies through the door then when you are hired to work their you realize it’s just for show.

I graduated public school with honors and held my “mistake” on my hip and in my class speech I told in short words that I was holding my daughter as a middle finger to everyone that said I couldn’t do it in school.

Now, obviously Tonya is only one alum. I won’t say her story is representative of everyone’s experience, but Iknow for a fact that it’s far from unique. I will never stop feeling ashamed that I sat silently in meetings while students with ed plans were “counseled out” of City on a Hill because the school wasn’t willing to meet its legal obligation to serve their needs. Students usually left those meetings in tears.

Would you send your kid to a school that had, in Tonya’s words, treated you like shit?

(If you’re a charter school alum with a story to tell, click on the contact me link at the top of the page. I have often been guilty of writing about charter schools by the numbers, and I think it’s important to remember that every one of those numbers is a person.)

#Boston #Education #CharterSchools

Just back from a delightful week in rural Maine, not far from the New Hampshire border. I’ve got some thoughts about rural life in general, but the first thing I will say is if you choose to ignore TLC’s advice as I did, Sabbaday Falls in New Hampshire is a VERY cool waterfall, just a short walk into the White Mountain National Forest.

The first thing that struck me about rural life is that you just have to freaking drive EVERYWHERE. Over the course of a week, I got used to driving between 15 and 45 minutes to do pretty much anything. Want a cup of coffee? 15 minutes away. Ice cream? 15 minutes in a different direction. Grocery store? half an hour.

You get the picture. You just have to spend so much time in the car all the time. These folks cannot give up their cars. Which makes it all the more important for those of us who live in cities to try to drive as little as possible and to fight to take our cities back from cars so that they (and the planet in general) will be more liveable.

(aside—You can’t be serious about climate change if you don’t address the incredible carbon footprint of the US military. We need to stop maintaining a global empire in order to save the globe. But I can’t make the DC establishment kick its defense contractor money habit, and I might be able to move the needle on driving a little bit. So we do what we can!)

Also, a lot of us anti-car folks should, I think, include a recognition of this reality of rural life when we talk about this issue. If I had to depend on a car to make my life livable, I too would probably be pretty hostile to anti-car rhetoric. I know there aren’t, percentage-wise, that many people in rural environments, but I think they could use some reassurance that we don’t want them stuck in their homes forever.

Also—while I did see some “Don’t Tread on Me” flags in Maine, once I got into New Hampshire, the fascist symbols multiplied, like, exponentially. In a supermarket in NH I saw a guy with a trucker hat bearing the Punisher Skull logo with the fascist “blue line” flag pattern and a swoop of orange hair atop the skull. It was like a parody of fascist merch, but this guy was not wearing it ironically.

I don’t know why New Hampshire is so much more fascist than…well, any other New England State, but in light of the Don’t Tread on Me flags, I started thinking about the many ways rural residents are subsidized by city residents. For example, in the Maine towns where I was, there were basically no roads—only state routes. The rural towns don’t have any roads of their own, presumably because they don’t have the tax base to maintain them. So they just build houses off the state route, paved, maintained, and plowed by the state, and therefore subsidized by people who live in non-rural areas.

Same with the power lines and cable internet infrastructure. A mile of power line on a state route in Maine might serve a hundred customers, but I feel like the actual number is far less than that. So either the state or the ratepayers are subsidizing the power and internet lines going to areas where it probably costs more to maintain the lines than the companies make in revenue from having them there.

Now, I’m not going to use crappy GOP rhetoric about freeloaders or whatever because I believe we should all take care of each other. And so I don’t think it’s wrong or even bad that rural infrastructure is subsidized by urban residents. But maybe rural residents could recognize this and a) stop demonizing the cities whose tax revenue makes their lifestyle possible and b) stop with the “independent homesteader” cosplay and recognize that you’re not some lone wolf living on the frontier. You’re someone driving every day on a road someone else paid for because they think you should have roads to drive on.

Well, I can dream.

#transit #fascism #cars