Review: Chaotic Wrestling: The Devil in Me

Went to The Sons of Italy hall in Watertown, MA for a Chaotic Wrestling show last night. There was a canine-related urgent care visit early in the evening (everything but my wallet is fine), so I wound up getting there late and missing sneering heel Ricky Smokes beating smarmy babyface Brad Cashew. (Am actually quite gutted about this because apparently they made the folding chair legal for this match, and also I think Cashew’s got the making of a great heel, but I don’t really care for him as a face. But I guess he’s got that hair, so…)

I also missed a couple of other matches—my friend Greg informed me that the heels were winning everything—and arrived just in time for….

…a contract negotiation. I’ve seen this gimmick on AEW before, and I assume they do it on WWE shows as well, and all I have to say to all wrestling promoters is this. This is boring as shit. A bunch of guys yakety-yakking for 20 MINUTES about what they’re going to do in 2 weeks is not entertaining.

And listen—I know there is a diehard contingent of Chaotic fans who go to every match and pay to stream the ones they don’t go to, but I think it’s safe to say I’ve been to more shows than the majority of the audience, and I do not give a single shit about who’s in what faction or whether The Unit is getting back together or whatever the fuck. Boring. Bad. I really would have been much happier if they’d skipped this part and let us out 20 minutes early.

A good thing about local wrestling promotions is that they don’t have to emulate the worst elements of the big-time promotions. I have no idea why Chaotic is doing this. I wish it would stop.

Okay, back to wrestling. (Finally! and I only went on for 2 paragraphs!). It was definitely the night for the heels as heel Paris Van Dale inexplicably beat the incredibly talented and athletic Flip Gordon. (Flip does a lot of flips. He’s great. He said he’s leaving independent wrestling—I hope this means he’s bound for The Show, because he’s got a big-time combination of charisma and ability.) Don’t get me wrong—Paris is fabulous, and has one of the best heel gimmicks I’ve ever seen. Basically she very much enjoys the attention that comes from being champion but is not particularly interested in wrestling. It’s great. Honestly the only thing I think she could improve is dealing with the hecklers.

There was a tag team match where God’s Greatest Creation beat Shot to the Heart. This was fun because one of the guys from God’s Greatest Creation had a large contingent of family and friends there, so there was a lot of crowd energy. Shot to the Heart, featuring fan favorite Love Doug, whose mullet is a thing of beauty, lost, and Doug accidentally tossed his shirt into the chandelier.

JT Dunn squared off against Trigga the OG, and it was a pretty good match that turned into a great match when friends and teammates of each wrestler stormed the ring and brought the action into the crowd and the ring—Chase Del Monte and the Broken Unit attacked the security guys, and lots was happening in the back of the room that I couldn’t see very well. I’ll tell you what I could see, though—Shannon Levangie diving into a crowd of guys from atop a 12-foot ladder. This was some spectacular shit, and I was really glad I got to see it.

I think Trigga deserves better than the jobber role he’s been cast in. He’s a really good actor and sells all the feud stuff really well, and he’s a good wrestler as well. I wish he’d get a chance at the spotlight. (I once watched him lose twice in the same night! Give the guy a break!)

The main event was Mecca vs. Ricky Holiday for the championship. Mecca was great—he played the coked-up madman to perfection. He’s a fantastic heel because he’s such a good actor. You never get the sense that he’s pretending to be an asshole. (Maybe he’s not pretending, but I like to give folks the benefit of the doubt). This one was a really good match that featured Mecca bullying the refs a lot until he was driven from the ring by the surprise return of Aaron “Evil Gay” Rourke!

He’s one of my favorites, so I was sad he didn’t really wrestle but happy to see him back. He also hyped his match vs. Mecca in Tewksbury in 2 weeks, which is fine, but the whole evening took on the character of a trailer for the next event. I guess this is how you keep fans hooked, but, as my friend Greg said, “what about the event we’re actually at right now?”