brendan halpin

I love horror movies, and I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately, feeling impatient and annoyed with “elevated” horror because it so often means “boring” horror, and yet also impatient with horror movies that are just retreads of other horror movies.

So I was thrilled by Weapons, which I suppose is “elevated” in that its story structure is unusual and everyone in the movie can act, but in which there’s actually a plot in addition to the extremely creepy atmosphere.

Regular readers know that kids in danger is a plot element that is usually tough for me, and so a movie whose central event is an entire third grade class running out of their homes in the middle of the night and disappearing seems like an unusual choice for me, but this element is handled well—we don’t know the kids beforehand, and while we get some anguish from Josh Brolin’s bereft parent, we’re not down in the trenches of terror with the parents for the most part.

The solution to the mystery is not one I’ve seen a million times, and the ending is extremely nasty and satisfying. And HOLY SHIT Amy Madigan is terrific in this movie. Like, so, so good. It’s worth watching just for her performance.

If you like horror at all, I highly recommend this movie.

Wish I could say the same about The Toxic Avenger (Taylor’s Version). I’m kidding. It’s Macon Blair’s version, and it’s a mess.

I really enjoyed the Troma original and even found things to like in some of the increasingly bad sequels. (The one where Toxie goes to Japan felt like three times as long as it actually was). And I loved the musical!

I’m totally okay with fanfic reboots of beloved properties—sometimes they suck (looking at you, Rob Zombie’s Halloween!) and sometimes they’re awesome (Lookin’ at you, James Gunn’s Superman!). And so I don’t think it’s an inherently terrible idea to go dark and serious with the pre-Toxie stuff. I mean, it’s not entirely serious, with Elijah Wood as Danny Devito as The Penguin, but it’s got a pretty serious tone, and Peter Dinklage is an excellent actor who is actually acting here and whose hard luck story is actually hard to watch as a result.

No problem so far, but then once Toxie emerges, we’re back in familiar Troma territory, with over-the-top gore gags and a tone of general silliness. So the film ping pongs between these two incompatible tones (I mean, maybe someone could pull off these tonal shifts, but it ain’t Macon Blair) (Perhaps it’s Chris McKay, who manages some tricky tonal shifts in Renfield), and it’s disorienting. Are we supposed to actually be invested in the characters? Should we be laughing at Toxie’s antics? What even is this movie?

Well, it’s a waste of Peter Dinklage, Elijah Wood, and Kevin Bacon, and, otherwise..I dunno, there are a lot of Easter Eggs in here for Toxie fans, but I would have enjoyed them more if they were in a better movie.